Well, I have no idea what I am doing, but I hope it goes well! I am currently at work. I probably should be working, but I will get to that later. I have lots of projects in the back of my mind, but I can't seem to start any of them. There is the children's book, the bedroom painting, Greg's office painting, the mosaic table top, learning to create stained glass, and the list goes on and on forever. I think I get bored with things. I get excited about something, and then the excitement goes away for a few weeks. It might be a part of my adhd, but it might also be my desire to do something great. When I start something, I sometimes think it will be great, but then I get annoyed and quit. When I actually finish something it can be pretty great- but it is a long process! I like deadlines. Someone needs to give me deadlines on all of my projects like I had at Baylor. Where is Prof. Berry when you need him? I need to learn how to pick a focus for each weekend. Like this coming weekend I will paint, and next weekend I will mosaic. I am always searching for something that I love to do, that will allow me to work from home. I wonder if I do ever work from home if I will get anything done? I guess that is where deadlines come into play. If someone is paying me to do something for them, and they expect it by a certain date- I bet I get it done on time. Maybe one day I will figure that something out. There is so much I want to do, but the job thing always gets in the way! Maybe it is also my excuse to not get anything done. When I get home from work, I tend to be tired and not want to work on anything else. A lady who did a Leadership Tyler program for us this past fall said she is not surprised that I am exhausted when I come home from work. She said my job didn't fit my personality. Duh! I never thought I would be at a desk. It kind of drives me nuts. The pay is great, but is it worth giving up your dream of being happy and creative? I need to keep in mind that I might not have to do this forever. I keep a little paperweight on my desk that says, "never, never, never give up." I relate this to never giving up my dream to be the best version of myself. I see myself as one day being able to use my creativity every day in my job. Something where I make something from very little that people enjoy. I would like to make a good amount of money from this job, but be able to donate a good bit back to the things Greg and I care about in the community. My goal for right now is to complete a few projects. Maybe along the way I will find something that I love to do that will allow me to live the life I have always imagined. Wish me luck!
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